Stronger Man

I know this is late but I am trying to get caught up on my blogging =]
"Chain's be broken, lives be healed"

These past few weeks I have felt chained and imprisoned. I know that might sound weird but seriously. I have this picture of me sitting in this dirty prison cell with shackles around my wrists, my wrists completely raw from the chains. This place is familiar because I find myself here so often. I continually come back to this prison even after Jesus has set me free.  I come back to this place where I can do everything on my own and at first it feels like I can and then I end up back in the prison. I don't know if this analogy fully works but the point is Jesus sets me free again and again! I just think of one of Jesus amazing miracles in the gospel when he heals a blind man. He first touches the mans eyes and asks him if he can see anything. The man replies with "yes I think I see people but they look like walking trees." Then Jesus touches his eyes again and the man's eyes are fully open. I feel like this can be us sometimes. Jesus has to touch us again, and again in order for us to truly see. He is so loving that he will always break my chains or touch my eyes again just so that I can see his face and feel his love.

Jesus defeated death. he defeated the one thing that satan could for sure hold over us. He defeated it for all of us, knowing that we needed to be set free? He is the stronger man. As a human, being humiliated and beat down usually means some sort of bitterness or retaliation and Jesus did neither of these. He simply did what he needed to do. He did it so you and I could be let go from prison. So then why the heck do I keep going back there?
I don't think I really have an answer except for that I am a very prideful person. However, I always get pushed back down to my knees in front of his cross and let me tell you I am learning how to "boast in my weakness" and it is so hard. Jesus is the stronger man and I am so glad I do not have to be strong. I am so glad that I don't have to handle this life on my own.
Now, in order to gain strength from God I have to spend time with him, yet I rarely make him a priority except for my 10-15 min "quiet time" where I am usually thinking about all of the other things I need to do or complaining to God about how stressed I am. Now the maker of the universe, the man that doesn't retaliate is not my priority?! I am sorry I am just astounded at my own humaness and overwhelmed with a sense of love. God loves me enough to be the stronger man and continually break my chains, because he loves me. I am going through the book of Mark in my Bible study and Jesus' compassion for people is crazy! He loves everyone he comes into contact with and wants them to know the Father's love. He doesn't call us to be perfect people he calls us to be faithful. So I hope I can remember this, this summer. Jesus is the stronger man and I so desperately need him. I need his strength because I am weak and sinful. But He loves me and I will never fully understand that. And that my friends is the coolest thing in the entire world. Our Father loves us.