Bridges...

Q: Is there a bridge that Jesus has established in you heart that you'd like to abandon or not walk down?  A: My Pontifex is currently showing me how to still be a Christian in extremely secular settings.  For example I have a friend in my growth (who stopped attending some months ago,) who came out on Facebook as being a lesbian.  Another example is at work, I've realized just how difficult it is not to cuss when everyone around does, and it's also difficult for me to be humble and respectful to my coworkers/managers when no one else is.  I'm slowly understanding how difficult it is for Jesus to see his people act so un-God like on a daily basis, and although I'm grasping this concept of being a Christian in the world I'm still hesitant to completely cross that bridge for part of me still wants to hide in my shell and not even acknowledge those around me.

I Want You To Stay

Q: What Is so special about Jesus?  A: To me His healing power is the most important aspect of Jesus.
Q: How is He miraculously pouring out His spirit on you?  A: Reminding me that I'm not in control, to worry less, and to constantly lean on Him.
Q: What does the fiery light of Christ in you look like, feel like, smell like at work? at home? at school? on floating tabernacles?  A: It looks patient, kind, direct, capable, loving, wise, and humble.  (Granted I do not embody these characteristics perfectly.)
Q: Can you think of a time where you anticipated the immediate presence of Christ? Where are you feeling an emptiness right now that longs for the light, life, & presence of Jesus?  A: I have, usually when I'm in a dark place and wish to escape my reality. I'm currently longing to feel Jesus in order to be comforted in my life when it comes to my future, and currently the problems I'm having financially in regards to my car. 
Q: How Does it feel to be so passionately loved by the creator?  A: At times it feels miraculous, and at others it makes me feel inadequate like I need to over compensate for His love.

Speaking of how I handle His love the song Stay by Rihanna comes to mind. The lyrics go like this...

All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air I said show me something
He said, if you dare come a little closer

Round and around and around and around we go
Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

(Chorus) Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay

It's not much of a life you're living
It's not just something you take, it's given
Round and around and around and around we go
Ohhh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

(Chorus)

Ohhh the reason I hold on
Ohhh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but i'm the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving

(Chorus)
I want you to stay, ohhh

When I first heard this song, I hated it... It just irked me that someone could find so much comfort in a human when in reality we aren't perfect at all. It wasn't until a few days ago I had the line "Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving," stuck in my head did I realize just how true this line is in regards to my relationship with God.  I always regard God as broken because of the fact that He simply loves me, but in the end I'm the only one who needs to be saved.  So I now love this song and constantly think to Jesus, "I want you to stay." :)

Broken Hearted

Dear Friends,
I have been having a rough last few months from starting a new job that is the most challenging yet rewarding job I have ever had and also burning out at the same time. Ever since I started this new job in March, God has been molding and shaping me in the fiery furnace of His workshop. However, the story I want to share happened this past Friday and was, as they say, the straw that broke the camels back. I have been having many amazing conversations with my non-Christ following co-workers, and many have left me broken hearted. This last Friday, I was working and my co-worker told me his boyfriend is another co-worker and he showed me a picture of them. He knows I am a follower of Christ, and he said that I am the only person that knows out of all of his friends and everyone at work and for me not to tell anyone. So it is interesting that he chose to tell me..he must be attracted to something (aka JESUS). He had the biggest smile on his face when he was talking about how much they love each other and how they treat each other. He said he is the happiest he's ever been. He asked me if I was okay that he told me, and I said of course, and told him that I was happy that he has found something that makes him happy.. And he told me that I am the first "religious" person he has ever met that is loving and that isn't going to judge him for his choices in life. We can share with each other our personal beliefs or non-beliefs, and respect each other which is very unique and I treasure this mutual respect.. However, on the inside, my heart was breaking.. my heart breaks for this love that he and my other co-worker have found in each other because it is a cheap version of love..this love is twisted and disguised by the evil one as true and lovely. My heart breaks for them because I desire them to know the perfect, full,and complete love of Jesus. I talked to my pastor yesterday about it and he told me to look at John 4: the woman at the well. Jesus talks in this passage about the water that will come back empty and always quench our thirst and then Him as the living water which will quench our thirst for eternity.
My prayer for Josh is that every avenue he tries to find love and fulfillment in will come back to him empty, quenching his thirst for more. I pray that he would realize the only water that quenches his thirst is Jesus.

Also, this quote makes me think of this cheap love and how it blinds us from knowing any greater love that is the love of Jesus:

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward … promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased."- C.S. Lewis  

Also, this quote:
"Sex, of course, is not the only drug that intoxicates and numbs the mind to spiritual reality; the same can be true of money and career and power and romance novels and soap operas and TV advertisements and fishing and coin collecting and computers and rehabbing and gardening. The point is: know what numbs your mind to God and avoid it. Stay sober for the sake of full and passionate hope in God’s grace." -John Piper  

EVERYTHING ELSE BESIDES JESUS WILL LEAVE US THIRSTY. As we are a team this summer, I just wanted to share this struggle with you all and to pray for me to perservere in the love of Christ with my friendship with Josh. I want to not approve and people please with people that have different beliefs, but show them the love of Jesus through being a friend and respecting them. Jesus has placed me in such a beautiful and unique place in my relationships with my co-workers and even though it is a hard road, I am thankful because every day I am getting the privilege to show Jesus to them.

The Stronger Man: Being Vulnerable

When Jesus showed His true strength through humility by DYING, He shows me every day that I need to die to myself for Him to step in and do His work. The devil has so many schemes and strategies that keep Jesus at a distance from entering into my brokeness and weakness.. The devil tells us we should have much pride in ourselves and put up walls so no one will think we have anything wrong with us. And from those walls, he tells us not to share our struggles and not to be vulnerable because that is embarrassing and humiliating...this binds us in chains and makes us live in those hurts, alone, away from Jesus, in slavery.. So to prevent this vicious cycle from happening, WE NEED TO BE VULNERABLE WITH EACH OTHER. We need to let down our prideful walls to let Jesus be the stronger man and put the devil's schemes TO DEATH!  Be aware of areas in your life where the devil could be trying to root selfishness and pride. Instead of trying to be funny, witty, and the "cool" staff, let us show our weakness and struggles. I'm not at all saying that being funny and witty are inherently bad things, they are so good, but they are not the end goal..I am saying that we just need to be aware and open to the Holy Spirit moving on your heart to share or open up to another staff, youth leader, or camper..It also doesn't mean we need to be a constant open wound sharing our struggles with every person we see..again, the Holy Spirit is our guide and counselor, He will lead us. We need to be aware of His voice and obey and follow through when He speaks.

Wandering God

(This is the Week 7 entry that I missed.)

The Tuesday portion of this devotional was the one that really resonated with me, especially when talking about how God is not confined, but restless. I relate to that because I’ve always found it easiest to feel close to God when I’m out camping, hiking or something outdoors away from the distractions of “normal” life. I find it easiest to commune with God when I am not around all of the comforts of home life and have to rely on finding peace through Him. Amazing things happen at camp for a reason; God definitely loves and blesses those experiences because He’s a huge fan!

-JDK

Today

I like how Friday talked focused on today, what is God doing in me today? Sometimes I tend to look at my life in the future and think of all the things that I feel like God is calling me towards then, like serving this summer, and forget that I'm still called to do things today. I'm called to serve those around me today. God wants to work through me today in whatever I may partake in, not just on special occasions like serving on houseboats. I work at a preschool during the weeks and I've really been hit with this idea that although they are really young and often difficult to handle, God wants me to each day show them love and patience. Instead of always thinking ahead, I need to look at what he's placed right in front of me. What I do today, God can use to prepare me for what's to come, I just need to focus on remaining in the present.

Like Father Like Son

I had a rather interesting week filled with the good the bad and the down right strange. I found my self being temped, pulled, stretched, torn in so many directions I was starting to loose my way. So me in my brokenness looked the for the first thing to blame. Of course i went through the normal check list of things, but I kept feeling worse and worse until I talked with a friend of mine who brought up some very interesting things. He told me about Jesus being tempted by the devil to do evil, but all so Jesus tempting, or Honing his followers to believe in him and do there Fathers will. So I realized that in my brokenness and hurt and sinful nature God was honing me to do his will, but as I am getting closer and closer to this summer and the task that he has presented me my life has become a battle field. God not only wanted to hone me but also to prune and trim me to fit the ideals he has for me. I have never felt so excited and free in my life.

CommUnion

Re-reading through this week's devo's, Tuesday's honestly stuck out the most to me. Union + Community = Communion. It's in Communion that I feel most myself. When I am happiest, most at peace, most vulnerable, most broken, most challenged, and most blessed, I am in the presence of my community who are all united by God. I think that as quiet time with Jesus and a personal relationship with him is of the utmost importance, having a community to support and encourage you to grow is incredibly important as well. Drifting away from my union of community these past few weeks has blinded me to the glory of God. I've been feeling alone, discouraged, stressed out, and most of all inadequate to drive this summer- I feel that I haven't prepared myself enough which in turn makes me scared. But I refuse to be bound by these chains Satan has wound around me, and instead rejoice in how much my weaknesses can be my strengths. Rejoice that in Jesus, I can celebrate communion.

Whether you're on Shasta or on Delta, I like to imagine that your union of community, your communion, will be each other. Your fellow Drivers, Trainees, and Barneys. We will become vulnerable with each other, as well as challenge each other, encourage each other, and push each other toward Christ each and every day. Now that, for me, is heaven here on Earth.

Julia

Walking by faith and not by sight.

Friday's lesson really reminded me of how incapable I am of comprehending God fully. This is a wonderful thought when I think of the times I have felt so known and feel that I know God so well. There is so much more beauty, grace, peace, joy, and love that I don't see in those moments! This is also a wonderful thought when I feel desperately far from God. As himans, we are so driven by what we see, feel, touch, taste, and hear. The Holy Spirit is constanty at work in us and among us, loving us in ways we dont understand. God's thoughts towards us number more than the grains of sand, and they never change. He is eternally in us, in relationship with us, calling us to Him. When Jesus died, he was completing what was set in motion for all of eternity. His works will last forever. I love that when were on houseboats, drained and empty, we can remember that eternity has been set in our hearts, and in that moment being transformed by Christ begotten in us. In those moments God calls us to trust that He is forming us, preparing us for loving Him forever.
Even if we can't see it!

Jesus the author of our story

FRIDAY

I love how we can be both IN our story, and also OUTside of it, aware of the story unfolding. I think Jesus gave us this ability to recognize where were at on our personal journeys and how they're unfolding. Without this perspective, we would be lost, just going through the motions, unaware of His labor in us, and how He is writing our story...

Im so grateful that God has made me aware of my story, no matter how broken it may be. He's making me aware of how He's transforming it, and constantly revealing himself to me and in me.

Filling up with Jesus

I Am He

At the end of Thursday's devo, it asks the question "Where are you feeling an emptiness right now that longs for the light, life, & presence of Jesus?"

It's so easy to just read right over that without any thought, and I almost did. But I was challenged to really step back and look at my heart and see where I am empty. Honesty hour..I've been having a really hard time with putting my worth in Jesus and not in people. He is teaching me everyday that I have my identity in Christ and that other people's opinions mean nothing! My identity longs for the "light, life, and presence of Jesus." If you didn't already, I encourage you to think and pray about what areas of your life are empty. Especially as we get closer  and closer to summer, we need every part of us to be filled with Jesus.
One week people!!!!!

blog catch-up

THE STRONGER MAN

Jesus was the stronger man because amidst oppression and injustice and physical abuse, he knew, trusted, and obeyed the will of his Father. Strength comes with his evident humility. Jesus lived a life on earth that seemed undignified. He was born in a cave with animals to unwed parents constantly on the run from Herod—a dependent, vulnerable, defenseless and at risk child. But strength is evident in people who aren’t concerned about appearing strong.

Strength is evident in those who humbly and willingly do what they are called to do with the proper mindset and attitude. In the same way, strength is best utilized when Satan has been bound. We are weak when we allow him leeway and footholds in our lives. We are also weak, not only when Satan is prevalent, but when we try to do things out of our own strength. What a relief it is to know that though we are incapable on our own, our capable through the power of Christ. It’s a daily struggle to realize and acknowledge our weakness and choose to live in the humble, selfless strength of Christ.

I AM HE

One of the most special things about Jesus is that he is a tangible expression of the Father. I love Colossians 1:15 where it says he is the “image of the invisible God.” Christ gives us a way to visualize and understand the Father. I also love John 1:1-5 when it says “in him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.” Isn’t it so true? When we don’t have Christ in us, we are dead. We live purposeless, hopeless, meaningless lives, but when we are filled with the spirit we have LIFE—abundance, joy, hope.

God pours his spirit on me through the avenue of people around me. It’s amazing how much I am getting to know God more as I deepen relationships with the people that love him. We are made in his image and are given specific characteristics, and when we use our gifts for his glory, we point others to him and we understand a little bit more of his character in a tangible way. I hope this is true for the kids on the houseboats—I hope that more people get to know us, the more they learn about Christ, and his character. I hope that they understand Him a little bit better because of the way we live and act.

The fiery light of Christ in me is joy in all circumstances. I remember a few years back I was told by a close friend that I’m a lot like Job—that when everything seems to be going wrong, when I am treated unjustly, when I lose things that are dear to me, I still am able to praise the name of the Lord. I know it is not my strength or power that allows me to do this but the power of the Holy Spirit, and I count it a blessing from the Lord. I am so firmly established in my understanding of his goodness that I trust everything he does in my life, even though it makes no sense to the people around me.

Knowing how passionately loved I am by the creator, the I AM, the Word, the light, the one who holds all things together, makes my heart ache. It aches because I know how unworthy I am—how sinful and broken I am. It makes me aware of how much I take for granted what he has already done for me and what he daily continues to faithfully do for me. But it also aches because I long for intimacy with him. Knowing how desperately he loves me and how he has eagerly adopted me as his child is so exciting!! 

Pretty Lights (also a good band btw)

Hey People!

After reading last weeks journal entries and reviewing each day I've come to really relate to Wednesdays entry. "It celebrated the God who can guide because God is light", and that life is so miserable when we do not following in His Light! Coming up on this summer I want to make sure that I'm following in His light everyday every step of the way, celebrating the life He has given us and giving Him his deserved glory.

See ya!
Alex Thulemeyer

Prayer

God I am tired broken and beaten down, I have no way to make it right or fix my brokenness. Only you God king of kings can save me from my sinful self. I ask that today you show me your glory and open up my heart completely to the love of your son Jesus, let my eyes be bright and my body be full of energy too spread your love. God in your name I pray Amen. 

Real Raw, Real Quick

Hey all,

This weeks devo's have been so cool/challenging in being an every-day thing. It's been so cool being able to take a step back and look at the basics of the ceremonies and Tabernacle's. How cool it is to remember that it is God who pours into Jesus, Jesus into us, and us into each other/our campers. How cool it is to remember that our God wants to guide us, not just drop us off somewhere. And for me, how cool it is to be utterly convicted by just one statement (or two).

"He is WORTHY of our impassioned worship. HE is worthy of our impassioned love." (110) (Johnson)

This stopped me cold in my tracks Wednesday night. I couldn't go on, because if I tried, I was blinded-I wasn't really reading anymore. I am told, over and over again, "there is nothing I can do that will make God love me any less." And I believe that, I truly do. That WE are worthy in His eyes. But, is God? Is God worthy of our worship? Is God worthy of our love? And my initial answer was no. I didn't believe that He could be anything near worthy of MY love. And this really confused me; that I felt this way, this heartbroken. I desire to call Jesus my best friend, but why do I feel that I fall short in loving God? In praising him? Not even through my acts, but through my passions, thoughts, and heart.

Tonight, I finally gave in. I sat down in quiet time with Jesus-something I have been avoiding for 3 weeks, because I was scared of this: Jesus ripped me apart, leaving me raw and broken at the foot of His cross. He revealed such an unloved, ugly, sheltered part of me I had no choice but to willfully give it over for him to heal.

It got real raw, real fast. And as you're reading this, I pray that Jesus reveals to you what has been on your heart to give up to him..whether it's something you're bound to, hiding from, or hiding Jesus from. Or whether you're just plain scared of letting Him take it ALL. I invite you all to embark on this journey with Jesus and allow it to get real raw, real fast. Please don't wait until you're standing on the roof of a houseboat worshipping Him, or breaking down with your coordinator or director. Let Jesus, the Son of Man, who was crucified to have a real relationship with you, break you NOW. If He can dig deep into us now, imagine how much deeper He'll be able to in the summer?

Jesus is alive.

Jesus is here.

Jesus is now.

Love you all.

Julia

Who are you?

I feel like whenever we meet someone new, we sit in anticipation to see who they really are (or maybe I just do this haha). But I feel like whenever I am hanging out with people, talking to them, and growing with them, the question that is always on the back of my mind is, who are you? who are you really? in the deepest part of your darkest place who has the Lord created you to be?

I love that Jesus doesn't mess around when I ask Him this question, He doesn't even hesitate when He answers, "I am who I am". BOOM. Jesus isn't going to change. He isn't going to going to be the class clown one day, and the shy kid the next day. He is who He says He is.

Lately I have been really bitter at God for these certain situations that keep coming up in my life. I feel like I keep going through the same situation over and over again which really makes me angry at God if I am being fully honest. A friend encouraged me the other night that regardless of my situation, the character I know to be true of God has not changed a bit. God is still love, still my Abba, still good, still pursuing me, and still calling me child...

I know that is a bit off topic on such a small piece of the reading this week, but this has just been a huge source of encouragement for me this week, and I hope it encourages all of you as well.

-Haley

A Restless God

" You are not the one to build me a house to dwell in. I have not dwelt in a house since the day I brought Israel up out of Egypt to this day.  I have moved form one tent site to another, from one dwelling place to another." 1 Chronicles 17:4-6

Our God's work is never done. He is constantly moving in our hearts and minds. Always chipping away at our tough, rocky exterior to break us open and let love flow out like water.

Our God is restless and our God is good.

Jesus IS God!

What stood out to me from this week's devotional was that "Jesus reveals the Father's heart. On the cross we see the Father's heart bleeding in love for you." This is such a crazy picture of God's love for us. I think I often see Jesus truly as the son of God, separate from God, especially when it comes to him dying on the cross. But Jesus IS God! That means God, the creator of everything, died for me! He poured our his blood in love for me! How incredible is that!

Can't wait to see you all soon!

Amanda

Just a closer walk with thee

Reading this weeks section is very interesting to me, the whole "I am he" and "what is so special about Jesus?" is something that I have always heard and tried to wrap my mind around and I have yet to do it successfully without confusing myself in the process. Simply because Jesus (to me) is a very backwards person. He was a king who died? That is not how this is suppose to work. A king is suppose to lead me to victory and defeat all who stand against me. A king that washed my feet? What, that towel that you are wearing Jesus is suppose to be worn around your shoulder and not around your waist. You see what I'm getting at?

We all know Jesus was born from a virgin, Jesus was a gifted leader and impressive speaker and He did a lot of miracles and raised people from the dead but that's not what makes him special to me.

I think the reason Jesus was special to me is because he was every bit his Heavenly Father yet he was completely human. He experienced every human emotion that we face and yet still lived a perfect life and when I'm mean perfect I don't mean without sin I mean live a gratifying life of laying down his life to show others true life. He was special because he was a man like you and me. He grew tried, he cried, he hungered, and he thirsted: all human dispositions! Yet, he never let that get in his way, actually it made cling even closer to his Father. He is special because not only did he overcome being human but lead others to a place to be with the heavenly father. Much of the time I can't even lead myself to the father, let alone others. For him to walk the same path that I walk and live perfectly is inspiring to me, and I try everyday to walk that path. I think thats what he wants, we wants us to walk that path. he knows its hard and challenging. But thats why he laid himself down for us. So he can live in us, so he can walk beside us.

Jesus and Leona Lewis

This might sound a bit strange, but after reading Friday's section, I can not get the song "keep bleeding love" (leona lewis) out of my head. After reading "on the cross we see the father's heart bleeding in love for you", I think some lyrics are pretty applicable. 

{you cut me open and I keep bleeding love, keep keep bleeding love}

No matter what we do, or have done, Christ's heart was bleeding in love for us. His blood covers us, it doesn't skip over some people. Its already been done, and he continues to keep, keep loving us :) what an amazing love

it was GOD who died for us, and He who will never stop loving us! Such a great reminder for me this week.